untitled hint fiction piece

"I think I am still in love," she thought despite the fact she was alone on a bed, with an impending headache.

HELLO READERS!! 

Just wanted to say HI and I'm still here. 

Currently I am editing some pieces 

and reading. I've stopped reading Life of Pi 

and was about to read A Heartbreaking Work 

of Staggering Genius, when I finally obtained 

a copy of Bite Me. Now after finishing that book, 

I am reading Gods Behaving Badly and I'm 

enjoying it. I'm trying to be a better reader in hopes

of being a better writer. I hope it helps. I will be posting

newer excerpts soon, so tell me if it's working or not. lol. 

Have A Good Holiday Season Everyone! 

Did I React The Wrong Way?

We were over. 
You wanted more.
You wouldn’t pick me up. 
And then he approached me. 
Now we’re engaged.
What did you expect?

Nicest Rejection Letter

Dear Afiya Augustine,

Thank you for sending us "Win A Date With Avian's Daughters". We read this piece and your two others. You should know we do think you are a good writer. There are memorable moments. Visit our guidelines page (on the submit tab) to read more about what we're looking for—slipstream, magic realism, a voice that is odd and hard to capture. We also want to let you know that these can definitely find a home out there. Use Duotrope to find a journal that does your work justice.

I submitted two other pieces: Patient Lover and Keepsake. 

I guess these are rejection numbers 50something through 50something. 

Haven't Done This In A While

I can't do this anymore.
I'm already feeling that
I'm not achieving any of
the goals I have set for myself.

                          So many places I want to travel to.
                          And no job to provide me the funds to do so.

What a life I would've made for myself.
Cafe brunches. Moonlit dinners. Dancing. Laughing.

And look at me now.
        No steady work. No published work. No night life.
                                  Am I all to blame?
                         Is it that I'm not trying hard enough?
                         Or was this all preordained? Written in the stars
                                                                       centuries ago by the
                                                                       almighty God(s) perched
                                                                       on a golden throne?

Destined to a destiny of destitution.
      And now I'm holding on to something that I don't want to let          go of.
I've already gone all for broke. It's either all or nothing
                                                 with you.

    Can't move on if we don't let go.

Tears roll off my eye lids as I think of things to say.
I never envisioned myself to be a person filled with luck.
Prayers seem to fall on deaf ears and deceitfulness reigns
supreme, bringing about pain and heartache.
Dreams are caught in a rapture of their own, never to be
realized, but only an apparition during an unconscious slumber.

How much more am I to give?
When does sacrifice become a vengeful crime?
Where does suffering end and the healing begin?

My color-stained single paned glass heart
                         has
                     shattered.

I had a dream a few nights ago...

...that led to the birth of an idea for a story. It was set in this steam-punk world in a distant future where terminators, surrogates, rebel groups and androids and bio-mechanical engineered bad-asses with J-Pop tendencies...

"We lived in a time when the world had morphed into something no one expected it to be. By the year 2115, things here (in the US) had begun to advance. Maybe too quickly. We humans had accepted inventions and additions to daily life like the hover-mobile and the auto-tron systems in the work place which essentially was the automated voice response of the early 2000's but of a more sophisticated caliber."

How M. Night Failed The Last Airbender Movie *CAUTION*SPOILER ALERT*

How M. Night Failed The Last Airbender Movie *CAUTION*SPOILER ALERT*
Friday, July 9, 2010 at 12:33am
To all those who have been reading my notes over the past year, I thank you for listening in
on the little tid-bits of of information I researched to share with you about the Nickelodeon cartoon 'Avatar: The Last Airbender's' screen adaptation. I must admit that despite many of the horrendous reviews that The Last Airbender (TLAB) received, I still had an inkling of hope that the movie couldn't be THAT BAD. I thought, much like the 'Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li' it would be mildly entertaining when there was nothing else on television to watch.

At about 3 am yesterday morning, I decided to try my luck and find a copy of this movie online. I was wrong. M. Night had truly failed to capture the innocence, fun, and drama of the show and failed this movie in a multitude of ways:

(1) Too Much Explanation::

Within the first ten minutes of the film, my brain turned to mush. I was caught in a very long drawn out reincarnation of Katara's narration of the past and current state of their mystical (fantasy) world. She spent a great deal of the time explaining her world, instead of showing it to us. She spoke about spirits and other such things that had no place being talked about in the beginning of the film.

We as the viewers learn too much about the characters and their world only through dialogue, and then occasionally see something new. Katara talks about her mother being killed instead of us SEEING something. Aung(as it's pronounced) talks about running away from home (in the first 15 mins. of the film) instead of us SEEING anything. Any relevant character detail was told to us through dialogue instead of a quick flash-back or a real time display. We are told Aung is the last airbender before he does ANY airbending. At all. Katara narrated the beginning of pretty much every scene she was in, which became truly annoying. The most ridiculous for me was during a fight between Zuko and Katara, Katara takes the time to give her name and background history to Zuko, who's trying to attack her.

(2) Too Much Repetition::

The information that M. Night decided to give us, though with good intentions, was repeated constantly. Either in an attempt to help newbies to Avatar understand, or maybe to drill in (what he thought were key facts), it was unnecessary and made me feel like I wasn't competent enough to understand it the first 2 or 3 times I heard something. In the first 15-20 mins of the movie, Aung must've said he "ran away" about five times. General Zhao (who had a slight Indian accent) talked about the "moon spirit scroll he found in the Great Library" throughout the entire film. Whenever he found it possible to talk about Zuko's banishment, M. Night squeezed it in, even having it played out in a flash back with narration by a random little Indian boy.

(3) Lack of Adventure::

It is safe to say that the majority of this movie was dialogue and considering that the script was pretty rudimentary, there was nothing else to fall back on. The beginning of the film took place in the Southern Water Tribe and then went to an Air Temple for a few short minutes, then to a pseudo Earth Bending Concentration Camp/Village, then back at a different Air Temple for a couple of minutes and finally the film ended in the Northern Water Tribe. There was no sense of the trio jet-setting to different villages, meeting people, having fun, bending and learning new techniques, nothing. There was hardly any interaction between the three main characters other than to EXPLAIN something about themselves. There really was no chasing after the Auvatar (as it was pronounced) on Zuko's part, but just him saying (over and over) I want my honor back.

(4) Blase Bending::

The most anticipated part of this movie was the bending. I was hoping that if anything would get me through this film, it would be some skillful bending. Unfortunately, the cartoon bending was ten times better than this live action stuff. The bending technique was neither fluid nor fast enough for my taste. The only 'spectacular' bending we saw was at the end of the film, and even that wasn't all too great because it's the same scene in the trailers being played. The earth-bending was pretty lame and it took Aung FOREVER to produce some good air-bending.

M. Night also decided to change the bending technique for the Fire Nation, stating that all other benders were limited to a source, so he limited the fire-benders to bending from a source of fire. This to me made NO SENSE because there is limitless access to water (as we saw Katara learn to pull moisture from the air), earth (there's endless FLOOR beneath them) and air (hello, what do we breath?). The firebenders essentially had to have a candle flame around them where ever they went, throwing massive fireballs into the city in the last scene. Only the highest level of benders can produce their own fire (ie. Uncle Eero (as it's pronounced) and seeming firelord Ozai). Zuko however needs to walk around with a lantern though his 'chi' can warm him. This to me weakens them because all one had to do, was douse a burning flame and the benders would be powerless.

So I question: what of the fire prodigy Azula? Does she need a source? And how do they produce lightening? They wait for a storm?

(5) Lack of Characters::

While I understand that it's hard to squeeze in 20 episodes into 90 minutes, this movie could've had a lot more if they had cut some unnecessary scenes with reiterated information and then added an extra thirty minutes. But M Night chose not to, so in the hour-and-a-half we only met Aung, So-Kah (as it was pronounced), Grandma (gran gran), Princess Yue, Commander (Admiral) Zhao, Master Pakku (though I don't remember hearing a name) Uncle Eeeroh, FireLord Ozai and at the very end we see a disheveled and twitchy Azula.

There was no Haru and his father (though we saw a random asian Earth bending kid and his dad-neither had names), no Jet and his merry gang, no Avatar Roku (who is very important), no King Bumi, no Chief Arnook, No fiancee for Yue, and (most importantly for me) no Suki and no Kyoshi warriors. Though M. Night says that he shot the scenes and later removed them because 'they began to take over the movie,' he does have a statue of Avatar Kyoshi in the pseudo earthbending prison concentration camp. That to me, make NO sense to give people a reminder of how GREAT they are while IMPRISONED but if that was his nudge to the girls, then so be it.

And while Appa and Momo were there, we only saw Momo twice and Appa was only there when they traveled and then in the last scene of the movie. It was almost as though they were absent.

(6) Bad Acting/Script

The nail that put this coffin in the ground was truly the bad acting. And that I can not blame whole heartedly on the actors. They were working off the direction and script that M. Night provided them. The script sounded like (no joke) a first grader's essay on "Avatar the Last Airbender." It seemed like he made this movie for four and five year olds instead of and audience with the capacity to spell their own name legibly and add double digit numbers.

Though he mentioned that it would be darker, it was sad to not see any of Sokka's wit and plan-making abilities. It was over shadowed by Rathbone's stilted acting (that would better suit his role as the undead in Twilight) and mildly inflected voice. Nicola's Katara lacked about 80% of what made Katara who she is/was. No real fire, no real passion, she was passive and constantly narrating everything so she didn't have much to act. As for Ringer, he's a newcomer with no acting experience. And all I will say, is that it shows 100% that this was his first attempt at acting and it doesn't come natural to him. Dev Patel was okay but could've been more of an enraged Zuko who wanted to capture Aang by any means necessary. Uncle Iroh was less jolly, less wise and probably spoke the least in the movie. The only one who seemed committed to his role was Admiral Zhao...trying to express how power hungry he was. I was most disappointed in the portrayal of Azula who in the show is the vision of perfection yet is made to look sketchy and twitchy. She looked like the crazy broad she was in the show's finale.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST,

THE HOLES::

This movie just lacked the personality of the show, the personality of the characters, and the overall feeling of bonding and drama. The movie was truly disjointed with an inability to get a fix on the time, a lack of showing, an outpour of telling and unnecessary changes which would've helped in the development of the characters. The setting really backfired in my opinion, limiting the movie mainly to the water tribes and not allowing the kids to leave and travel and meet. I would've accepted some of the changes if they introduced something new and improved to me, but they didn't. And so the changes and omission of plot and characters really did make this movie just lack. And finally, there was not an inkling of Aang feeling anything for Katara. It didn't even really feel like these three kids had become friends.

The white casting was truly the LEAST of this film's problems.

There were only two things I thought was decent: mentioning Hama as the last bender of the Southern Water tribe before Katara's birth and the non-bending fight scene between Zuko and Aung.

Over all this is a sad moment for both the fans and the production company. First M. Night has revealed that he's finished the second script and that he's ready to put Azula on the screen very dark and demented, but I'm hoping that he doesn't. We may be upset and think that M. Night got what he deserves for changing things around and causing a racial riot, but this is a sad moment for the fans too. I'm quite upset that the first attempt to make this beautiful show a live-action film failed, and I'm sad to know that M. Night wants to continue the franchise and drag it further in the dirt. I'm even more upset that we, the fans, are going to have to wait until all the dust clears on this blemish in Avatar history before someone else can do this show justice. ::SIGH:: Now, I must wait again to see Toph do her bad@ss earth and metal bending and to see the epic finale that was Sozin's Comet on the big screen.

Thinking...

Inspiration for my dark but beautiful Queen.

As of late, I've been thinking about what to do with myself, and as much as I want to write, I find myself lacking the inspiration that came to me. Unfortunately I do not have my camera to take out photos of the lush untamed natural life here in Baltimore suburbs, but I did think about this picture I found online, depicting what I think my dastardly queen should look like. I posted the chapter on her. What do you think? Anyone...

Gone. - An Old Poem

A poem I wrote years ago (with minor alterations),  that seems to have a resonance to what's going on right now...in MORE ways than ONE...


Gone.


We use to live that Breyers Ice Cream kind of life
always smooth, always soft, just so creamy and
full of flavor. Now we don’t. It just doesn’t seem
right to me anymore. Now we’re like Rocky-Road or one
of those eroded flavors- now we’re like Cold Stone
without the Creamery. Our love doesn’t mesh like it
use to, it doesn’t vibe. We use to be Luther Vandross
songs on a cold winters’ night. We were heat, we were
passion and now we’re two completely different artists.
We’re not even the Blues. I don’t even know what to call us.

Where has the bond gone? The red mango eating laughter,
with fingertips ripping apart Ali’s fresh rotis with anchar
and curry on the edge of our lips. Our Ocean Spray kisses
filled with tangerine tart. Where has it gone? Now we’re
just Vicks Vapor Rub- achy, shaky hugs that don’t feel like
anything and I’m here like Icy Hot, heated one minute
and then trying to relax the pain of you not being who
you were when I first met you.

What has happened to us? Weren’t we good?
Weren’t we making progress? Now it’s like we’ve gotten
wrapped up in a Hurricane Katrina- just all messed up,
washed up with nowhere to go from here. Baby, where are we?
We use to be on going music- we use to be Beethoven’s
Symphonies and Chopin pieces- we were Nocturne,
lullabies putting each others worst fears to bed and going to
sleep with a breeze of fresh Hilton hotel air, we were
the Trump Tower, our bond was a beautiful structure of
golden proportions and now it’s in an Indonesian destruction.
What has happened to us?

We use to live that creamy Breyers Ice Cream kind of life.
Full of Ali’s Roti shop laughter and filled with Luther Vandross
love. We use to be rolling greens of Irelands’ Celtic scenery,
and now, we’re of two different continents. Our lines don’t cross
or flow in the same direction. We’re driving on the Verazzano
in opposite directions, but I love you. Baby, come back to me.

In honor of one of my fave shows...

An excerpt from one of my finished short stories from a year-two years ago:

It was a rather cold night in November when my eyes met Victor’s in a lasting gaze. I watched Emme jump along the snow-laden grass, her leash whipping the cold air. He was walking home, bundled in a leather coat, and looked back at Emme. He smiled at the dog and then looked at me. I looked back and kept my eyes fixed on him. I smirked and watched how he glanced down at my lips. I licked them.

He approached me. “Hey, I think I always see you in the park,” he said. I could see the hot air rising out of his mouth. “Do you live in the area?” he asked. He had cocked his head to the side. A sure fire sign that he was interested. I told him I did live in the area. “As a matter of fact,” I told him, “I just moved into one of the Old West End mansions in this part of Toledo, not too far from this park.”

“Really?” he asked.  I nodded. I knew I had him.

“Wow, that’s pretty cool. So, that means that you’re relatively new to the neighborhood then?” he asked. He was curious. I liked that.

“I guess I am. I haven’t really gone out much since I got here. I just stay at home or sit in the park with Emme,” I said, shrugging my shoulder in the direction of the dog. He looked at her and gave a light chuckle.

“So um, could I welcome you to the area, maybe with some coffee?” he asked me. He stood with his hands in his pocket, his shoulders squared off. I looked into his eyes. Those chocolate brown eyes. I wanted to invite him over immediately, but I knew I had him. And with the amount of waiting I did, a couple of days wouldn’t hurt. I asked him if he wanted to go right now, and he told me that we could walk to a quaint little coffee shop around the corner. I whistled for Emme, and she trotted towards me. I grabbed her leash and we walked over to the shop.

I tied Emme up outside, near the entrance. The sign said “No Paws Allowed.”

He sat at a little wooden table next to a window. Snow had mounted on the panes and I could smell the scent of maple trees. He had ordered his cup of coffee and asked me if I wanted anything to drink. I told him I was fine. He insisted. I liked it. I ordered a non-fat cappuccino with extra foam. He looked at me and parted his lips to speak.

            “Watching your figure I see…” he said. 

“You’re more than welcome to watch,” I responded. He smiled. As did I. We talked for a while as we waited for the coffee. I learned that he had grown up right here in Washington, D.C. Was the first in his family to graduate from college. He graduated from John Hopkins University in Baltimore, with a degree in English Literature and worked at a library part-time while working on a dissertation on Eighteenth Century literature emerging from the period of Restoration.

            “That’s quite a handful to write about,” I told him. He nodded.

“Yeah it is. I mean, it was such a crazy time in literature…and the society, the rakes, the aristocracy, the rejection of morale and the approval of indecency…” he trailed.

            “I know,” I said. “It was a nightly ball! Nothing but drunkards and prostitutes and very loose men.” He laughed.

 “You have an interest in the Restoration period?”  

“ Not really. I watched a lot of what was going on, you know documentaries, and that Johnny Depp movie ‘Libertine.’ Makes you feel like you could’ve lived there,” I responded.

“Yeah, I know what you mean. With all the studying I’ve been doing, it’s almost like I lived there.”  We both chuckled a bit. I saw the waitress pass by and asked if she could put my cappuccino in a cup to go. I wasn’t too keen on letting Emme stand outside too long by herself, I told him. Maybe, I said, we could finish this conversation another night.

            “Sure, what night’s great for you?” he asked me.

            “How about tomorrow, at the movies. My treat,” I said.

            “That sound’s grand. So we’ll meet in the park?”

            “Sure! Perfect, that sounds like a date,” I told him. The waitress came back with my cappuccino. “It’s really hot,” she said as she handed the cup to me. I told her thanks and pulled two dollars out of my jacket pocket. Victor told me to put my money away.

“It’s the least I can do,” he whispered, then winked. He leaned over and touched my hand. I lowered my eyes and then looked up at him.

“Until tomorrow,” I said and then I waved goodbye.

            I stepped outside and untied Emme. She was such a perfectly trained dog. I walked away from the shop, feeling his eyes on me. I turned back and raised my cup towards his figure in the window. I crossed the street and waited until I was out of eyesight to toss the drink into the nearest bin.

Worst Enemy

work in progress...

Standing in the way of future success...
manifesting digression at its ultimate best.
Promoting procrastination, and providing distractions,
throwing obstacles like curve balls, adding mounds to the
treacherous mountains yet to be climbed.
Robbing me of all my time, not promised by a power divine,
and draining me of my sense of hope.
Trying and tiring me out of precious energy,
tying me down to a feeling of broken dreams and memories...
laughing callously...
I look into the eyes of my enemy,
call out at all its indifference,
trying to banish it from my worldly existence
and find it hard to move this creature.

Avatar Update

Avatar Update
Sunday, April 11, 2010 at 3:51pm



It's been a million and one years since I last wrote on this thing, but I'm coming on here to talk to those who know about 'The Last Airbender Movie" and its turbulent time in the press.

This essay I promise will be shorter than the last.

Well, it's been announced by M. Night Shamalan in a recent interview that he does have plans of making a three-part movie which of course will reflect the three books (seasons) of the Avatar show. He also released statements stating that the movie will be "darker" than the the light and almost whimsical nature that show has AND that he will address the issue of Prince Zuko's mom (if you've seen the show in it's entirety you would know that there is some wonder to her existence and at the end, Zuko approaches his father on her whereabouts, but we never see a reunion). He also let is slip that Toph will be 'Asian' which stemmed this entire entry::

This guy proclaimed up and down through out this entire interview, that this movie was not based on race. That he was more so looking for people of all ethnicities and that he chose those who he thought would "best capture the character."

THEN he claimed that he chose the cast he did because he "wanted everyone to be able to see themselves" in the film. WTF?

Ok, so I'm now a little peeved at M. Night because it seems like he doesn't know how to address the idea of white washing the characters of the show. First he said it was open to everyone, then he said he was going for the rainbow effect so that everyone could feel included? Horse doodie. I GUARANTEE YOU I more than LIKELY will NOT SEE any BLACK PEOPLE hanging around Aang or Katara and I BET YOU that NO BLACK PERSON will be used to portray any of the secondary or tertiary characters on the show. And guess what? If this movie was more of an accurate portrayal of the show, I'd kindly watch a film that had no black characters in it, because guess what? On Avatar there weren't any black characters. There were dark-skinned people but none of them BLACK. I don't even think I'll see people of hispanic origin in this film...so I don't buy that.

And according to some disgruntled fans, one of his casting calls wanted "Actors of Caucasian decent and other ethnicities." If you were not discriminating, then why not just say "All actors, between ages, 18-blah blah, martial arts a plus..."

Then he tries to strip the movie of its 'Ancient Orient' feel by removing the Chinese writing that we saw used in the show, but rather is going to use/make some pre-historic "oriental" looking pictoral language. M Night, what the frig is wrong with you?

I don't know how he wants me to believe that Mai and Tai Lee are people of South Asian and "South Asian Looking" decent, when they are obviously anything but. I mean, I respect the people of different ethnic backgrounds for doing this movie- I mean, hey, you want to make money, but please M. Night do NOT make it seem like you couldn't have gone to San Francisco and found some well deserving Asian actors with Martial Arts techniques...sh*t, Bruce Lee founded Jeet Kun Doe there, don't tell me you couldn't find ANYONE!

What he won't admit is that he just wanted people of a Caucasian audience who didn't care about Avatar to come see it. Prime example: Jackson Rathbone is starring in a lead role as Sokka. This is the same guy who plays one of the vamp kids in 'TWILIGHT' which means that all Twilight Saga and Robert Patterson groupies will probably flock to this film because of Jackson's association to his past movie roles and co-stars. And the girl who plays Katara is cute, but her last movie was a few years back and he's probably hoping he can get some time to shine as an 'actor-making director' and have her and Noah Ringer (who plays Aang) to be his big-break kid stars. And if that was the case, he could've brought in some really talented underrated Asian youths to the fore-front and be like the next Ang Lee

Quite frankly, if I could cast the movie (and note this is a FANTASY casting) I would've have the little 'boy' from "The Golden Child" J.L Reate (which seems to have actually been a girl) OR someone with that look, and Zhang Xi Yi as either Tai Lee, Mei or even AZULA! Russell Wong to play fire lord Ozai (cause he plays BAD really GOOD) and throw in Jason Scott Lee and Robin Shou for good measure. He could've even had Dante Basco (the voice of Prince Zuko on the show) play Prince Zuko. It wouldn't be the first time someone casted middle aged people to play teenagers. ::shakes head::

Either way, I'm pretty disappointed in M. Night. His logic seems to be wavering and I can't believe someone with an EAST INDIAN background would succumb to pressures to make his cast white or "seemingly free of ethnic restraints" to make a buck on a show that was pretty much AWESOME on its own right and then wait for the people who will spend their money to watch it AKA THE FANS to tell him how wrong he is.

I don't know if I want to endorse this film. The previews are looking hot- but I'm not feeling the 'Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon' feel without it the casting that will truly bring it to life. Maybe I will see it, but I don't know man...I don't know...







"The End of Avatar" by Jayun on Deviantart.com